On reading books to become a kinder person
The Reading Nook #6
I’ve been seeing this quote a lot recently, ‘the horrors persist but so do the little treats’ and it’s so apt for me this month. Life has been lifeing as it usually does and books have been exquisite little treats I can escape with.
On the agenda today:
1. Thoughts on reading books as a means for cultivating empathy and understanding
2. My February reading journey
Recently, I’ve been thinking of the ability of books, specifically fiction books, to open up our minds and stretch them to accommodate new experiences. With stories, we can understand lives, struggles, troubles, feelings, pain, cultures etc, foreign to us.
As humans, we tend to be overly occupied with our struggles and be ignorant of those of others. We don’t understand why certain people act the way they do, we shrug at another protest in a country we barely know how to pronounce its name, and we dismiss other people’s experiences because we haven’t lived them. With books, we can, to an extent, live and understand these experiences better.
For instance, in Together Tea by Marjan Kamali, I got more awareness of the immigrant experience. I got to understand how difficult it is to leave your country—your home, your family, friends, everything you’ve known all your life—and begin afresh in a new country where you know no one and barely speak the lingua franca. Where you aren’t necessarily welcomed and you struggle with overwhelming loneliness.
In Fine Boys by Eghosa Imasuen, even though cultism in Nigerian public universities was a topic I was vaguely familiar with, this book showed me how it could ruin lives on a personal level and the extent to which it is a menace to society, especially young boys.
With Full Disclosure by Camryn Garrett, I got to understand how uninformed we are about HIV and how the stigma stemming from ignorance can affect the lives of people living with HIV.
I could go on and on. I love that books give us a window to peep into experiences foreign to us and help us understand these experiences better. Along with this awareness and empathy comes kindness, compassion, and inclusivity which translate into action to change our world. Research even supports this. Here’s to reading to learn and understand other people’s experiences better ✨
February Reading Journey
Despite a short reading slump and forcing my way through a book I eventually DNFed, I read 7 books this month! And I thoroughly enjoyed myself. (Btw four of the books were audiobooks and two were really short, less than 100 pages so, yeah).
Together Tea by Marjan Kamali ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
This book is about a mother and daughter, Dahlia and Mina, navigating their relationship and their lives after their family immigrated from Iran to the US. The book is narrated with both their point of view being alternated and it shows us their lives in Iran and also the US.
We see Dahlia obsess over finding the perfect Persian man for her daughter and how she struggles with being away from home while we see Mina’s desire to become an artist going up against her parent’s wish for her to graduate successfully from business school as she also struggles with calling two vastly different countries home.
We get to see their lives in Iran and their lives in the US and I liked how the book portrayed the immigrant story.
The Poet X by Elizabeth Acevedo ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
I read this in 2019 and loved it. This time, I listened to the audiobook narrated by the author and it was amazing.
The book follows 15-year-old Xiomara, an Afro-Dominican child of immigrants, who has a very complicated relationship with her strict and religious mother.
Here are some things to know about Xiomara: she has questions about her faith, she wants to kiss a boy, she’s used to getting nasty comments from boys and men about what they’d like to do to her body, she’s also used to fighting and defending both herself and her fragile twin brother. Lastly, she’s a really good writer.
The book is written in verse and the whole thing reads like a spoken word poem. The author narrated it beautifully and strongly and in scenes where she switched between Spanish and English, it was exhilarating to listen to. I’ll be rereading it again and again.
Be(com)ing Nigerian: A Guide by Elnathan John ⭐️⭐️⭐️
This is a nonfiction satire that criticises Nigerian politics, the nonprofit space, religion, etc. In the acknowledgements, the author says, “I’d like to acknowledge Nigeria, with whom I am (still) in an abusive relationship” which is so apt.
It was funny and relatable, especially as someone who lives or has lived in Nigeria, and it’s a good pick if you want to try out satire.
Beyond the Gender Binary by Alok Vaid-Menon ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
This is a really short book that serves as a sort of introduction to non-binary and gender non-conforming persons.
I like that it raised important questions surrounding gender norms and the gender binary. It questions people’s obsession with the gender binary to the point where they perceive non-binary and gender non-conforming persons as threats to society.
The book also shines a light on the abuse trans, non-binary and nonconforming people face in society. How society tries to demonize them but at the same time, brutally attack, main and kill them.
The Luis Ortega Survival Club by Sonora Reyes ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
First off, the cover of this book?? It’s so beautiful!
The book is about a group of people who have survived Luis Ortega as the title says, haha. So Ariana, the protagonist, is on the autism spectrum and also has selective mutism.
And there’s Luis Ortega, the pretty, popular boy who is just a piece of shit manipulator, abuser and so much more. I don’t want to ruin it, but things go down and a group of people who Luis has ruined their lives find Ariana and they team up to bring him down.
It was a good book that dealt with the topics of abuse, neurodivergence, friendship, complicated mother-daughter relationships and more really well. I liked how the author emphasised that there is power in naming an abuser and not keeping silent, hence the title of the book.
TW for off-page rape.
Ella Enchanted by Gail Carson Levine ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
I wrote about Ella Enchanted in the last edition of Nostalgia Trip and talked a bit about my love for the movie. I decided to read the book because people kept on talking about how it was better than the movie and I thought they meant it in that usual way that books are better than movies but I wasn’t expecting what I got. The book and movie are two completely different stories save for the ‘curse’ and character names!
I listened to the audiobook narrated by Eden Riegel and it had medieval-like music playing at different points with sound effects so the audiobook experience was amazing.
For the book itself, it was funny and engrossing. I like how it explored the concept of ‘choice’. I love how Ella is a badass female lead who is smart and witty. The friendship and romance in the book were lovely and Prince Char>>>
It was such a good book and I understand people’s anger towards the movie. It’s valid and if I read the book before I watched the movie, I‘d definitely be angry too. The book had so much flavour and life and the movie seemed to dilute and flatten it. This is a book I see myself rereading again and again. It’s part of my top favourite books now.
Wash Day Diaries by Jamila Rowser and Robyn Smith ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
This is my first graphic novel and it was so cute and fun!
It’s about female friendship and follows four friends navigating the complexities of life. The ritual of Black Woman hair care—from wash days to sitting down to get your hair made in a salon or with a friend—is an important aspect of the book. I can’t overemphasise how beautiful the art was and the attention to detail.
That’s it! I hope you enjoyed it. Let me know your thoughts on reading books as a means of cultivating empathy and if you’ve read or will read any of these books.
Also, how has your 2024 reading journey been so far?
Such an eclectic and varied list of books! Thank you. I loved poet x and YA and women’s upmarket fiction in particular (that’s what I’m tying to write). Looking forward to seeing more of your recs in the future!